Comments on: Hyper Parents & Coddled Kids

By: Christine LaRocque

Christine LaRocque — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 14:07:53 +0000

So enjoyed this post. Was just able to watch the documentary a few days ago and had mixed feelings myself. However, like you, I agree that the age of “hyper-parenting” is not over. I witness it myself among several of my friends. Intense is our desire of parents to provide the best for our children, but when taken to excess one rules out the other I believe. I’ll admit that I fall prey to the whole guilt thing too. My children are still very young so it’s less about the activities that I enrol them in a this point, but stems more from a pressure I feel to ensure that every situation is a learning opportunity. As parents I don’t believe we can be everything to our children, where does that leave them when we’re gone. As you say, there is so much to think about and explore on this topic. I hope you’ll write more!

By: Olympic Dreaming? Not a Chance : Life As A Human

Olympic Dreaming? Not a Chance : Life As A Human — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 05:07:10 +0000

[...] these athletes we watch today have been training intensely since they were children. And my kids? They’re not enrolled in a single organized activity. The odds are definitely not in their [...]

By: Family relishes outdoor activities in winter

Family relishes outdoor activities in winter — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 23:12:59 +0000

[...] Hyper Parents & Coddled Kids « coffee with Julie [...]

By: adam

adam — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 00:20:40 +0000

I liked your article and your take on it.
I tend to agree with you that, while this sort of parenting may be on the downturn in some statistical way, it is not by any means done for good.

I also agree with some of the commenters that hyper-parenting is necessary to some degree, especially in early childhood, and in fact simply unavoidable. To that I would add that if parents indulge in hyper-parenting behaviour into high school, they are in for some serious backlashes from the very people they are trying to help/protect. the story about the parent meddling in high school or university is ridiculous – have you seen ‘a serious man’? It’s got quite a scene there on what happens when a south korean gets a failing grade in college (and fairly accurate I can assure you).

another area in contemporary society in which we see hyper-parenting and peer pressure running rampant is sports. you find success stories around but more failures. parents pushing their kids to become these little super-humans by age 8. Competitive hockey dads and soccer moms abound, and it can’t be too great for the kids.

Anyways, interesting read.

By: DaniGirl

DaniGirl — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 10:54:11 +0000

I wish I’d seen this documentary that everyone’s talking about! I get the gist of it, though. Very interesting!

My husband teaches at a college, and one student’s parents are threatening to sue the school over her failing grade. From what I’ve heard of the school’s side of the story, they’re way out of line and she deserved the failing grade — but the mother in me relates to that fierce need to protect her cub and I can see how it might come to that. (A $4000 birthday party? Not so much.)

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 02:18:41 +0000

I am loving all these great insights!

It really is hard to decide what the right balance is, isnt’ it? Between providing enough exposure to generate an interest or develop a certain level of skill to just plain killing ourselves with a hectic schedule.

If you’ve got a family with three children and each child only does one activity — that is still a ton of scheduling! My parents had four children and to this day I have no idea how they afforded it, let alone managed to schedule it all!

Special thanks to the insights from teachers! I do recall wondering about the poor JK teachers who only had the kids for 1/2 day but must have spent at least 1/2 of that time helping them in and out of snowsuits!

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 00:58:11 +0000

Great post! We need to find a balance between protecting our kids and helping them grow. Free play is very important – time is a major issue – too much ‘scheduled’ time isn’t good. Conversely, giving our kids the opportunities to develop interests etc. is important.

By: Finola

Finola — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 02:54:33 +0000

I wish I had seen the documentary – I will try to find it online. I really think I am more laid back than most parents. We like to hang out at home a lot, and I really am not one to hover and think up ways to occupy my girls’ day. Lucky for me my two daughters like to play together and I spend a lot of time reading and drinking coffee.
I know someone who is totally a hyper parent though, but I doubt she would ever recognize it in herself. So I wonder if any one of us would recognize this behaviour in ourselves, or is it always someone else’s problem.
As my husband and I like to say, isn’t it nice to be such perfect parents?

By: Shannon

Shannon — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 02:26:32 +0000

Julie – don’t be embarrassed that your kids are not enrolled in activities . . . mine are not either! I have blogged a couple times before about how we relish in our ability to be enrolled in nothing . . . and I am done feeling guilty about it. I can see how overscheduling and too many activities really takes a toll on a family – driving everywhere, stressing about meals and getting places on time. I’m definitely not against letting my children join activities when they want to do something they love, but I’m not enrolling them in a bunch of stuff just because the Jones’ are doing it. (And that’s not to say they’ve never done anything, we did swimming last fall but like to take the winter months off to just have fun.)

I have not yet seen the documentary and am trying desperately to see if I can download the full version somewhere. I’m looking forward to watching it, it’s a very interesting topic and one I am also very fascinated in.

And I can relate to Stefanie – I am also a teacher and find myself expecting a lot of my kids. I taught them how to put on their own snowsuits and boots long before they could read or print their names. As a teacher it drives me nuts when kids stand there in kindergarten waiting for you to put their snowsuits and boots on for them – just assuming you will do it b/c it is done for them at home. Children need to be taught independence at a young age – it is crucial for their personal development.

Great commentary!!

By: Julie

Julie — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 00:01:02 +0000

Heather Ann! WOW! How fantastic to connect. We still miss Riley so dearly … but all is good here too. I am so happy to hear your news about new baby — can’t wait to meet her! )) Oh, these are the kinds of connections that make me LOVE the internet! Email me via the contact button, k? We MUST do coffee!!