Each morning, early, you tumble into our bedroom. You do a long route around to the far side of the bed, and stand for a moment waiting. Waiting for me to raise my arm, to welcome you in under the covers. I don’t need to open my eyes. I can feel you there; I can feel you looking at me. This, almost more than anything, makes me feel like a mother.
You are a big boy. I know that big boys won’t want to do this forever. Your sister could never lie still long enough for it, and never particularly liked the weight of my arms upon her. She is more of a bird, and you, more of a puppy. She likes my arms to lift her up closer to the sky, and you like my arms to weight you down closer to the earth.
Sometimes I get a panicked feeling …. that I have too many things to do, and that I will forget some of them. Or that I won’t do them right. When I feel like this, I close my eyes and feel you lying in my arms. Like you do in the mornings. Your fingers are in my hair, and your breath is on my face. It calms me. It makes me feel like I am a mother, and that I’m doing okay at it.
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This post is a “Monday Moment” inspired by Capital Mom’s provided theme for this week of “Arms.”
This is beautiful Julie. What a special memory.
*sigh*
My 6yo still loves this too. And each time he comes in to snuggle with me I wonder, is this the last time? Same with the hand holding. We may walk hand in hand and he’s contemplative and quiet, and suddenly, he sees a buddy, and his hand slips out of mine. He takes a step away from me.
Each time this happens my heart aches just a little bit.
A post like this helps us focus and cherish those small moments. So that we remind each other that the chores and the responsibilities…they will still be there afterwards.
Lovely.
Really lovely Julie. I love cuddling with my boys. I can already feel the ache of my empty arms as they get older and want it less. But it makes my day when they want those cuddles. Definitely the best part of my day!
Ahhh Julie….thanks for the reminder to enjoy and embrace these special moments….my boys both do this too…..
beautiful!
don’t worry Julie! you have many more years of cuddling with your son
my boys are both still regulars in my bed in the morning! (age 10 and 7)
Sarah
I love this, especially the second paragraph. I long for those moments of snuggling close to the earth.
This is pure happiness and sunshine. I love waking up to my 6 yr-old’s face pressed into neck and the his prickly hair tickling my nose. I wish I could pause the moment for a few years.
never ceases to amaze me what a senstive and perceptive Mom you are! What a lovely reflection.
just beautiful!