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When will he learn?

We’d hardly cut into the long drive ahead when my hubby asks if we could pull into the Canadian Tire he’d spotted.

I knew what he wanted. “Oh, come on,” I pleaded, “We really don’t need a bike lock. Your bike is the only one worth anything and we can bring it into the hotel room if we have to.”

He countered saying that it would be really quick — he could just run in while I drove to the Tim Horton’s for a caffeine fill-up.

“No … these things always end up getting drawn out. We’ll end up killing 20 minutes just to get a stupid lock. We have a long drive ahead. Let’s just go,” I whined said.

He looked at me.

“Okay fine.” I turned the car in to the parking lot to drop him off.

Then I pulled out into the intersection towards the Timmy’s.

But: Oh crap … I can’t over! And this lane is taking me right back onto the highway! Crap! Crap! Crap!

Now I am driving on the highway, heading right back to Ottawa. Good stuff.

I’m sweating bullets. The children, on the other hand, are completely oblivious in the back.

I don’t see any exits coming up soon. None.

And I don’t even know where I am so this GPS isn’t going to help me one bit. Gah!

And hubby doesn’t have his cell phone with him. Double gah!

Okay wait … what’s this … an authorized U-turn zone? Done! Consider me “unauthorized.”

I finally get back to where I’d started from and turn off the highway. Then I pull into the Timmy’s drive-through and get us our double-doubles.

As I approach the Canadian Tire, I check the clock. It’s been at least 25 minutes since I dropped him there.

I can see him flagging me down out front. I pull into the parking lot and he’s looking concerned. He probably thought I totalled our new car while he was buying that $20 lock. But a quick once-over, and he can see that the car and its contents are unharmed.

“What happened? Are you okay,” he asks.

“Look, I told you that it would waste 20 minutes if you went to get that lock!”

When will he learn that I am always right?


  1. I like your sense of humor!

    Canadian freeways always freak me out a bit. It looks like if you miss an exit, you are stuck driving straight for another 100 km!

  2. Come next month I’ll be married for 32 years. Do they learn? Yes, with enough patience and persistence they can pick things up eventually. It is helpful if we are not smug to the fact that we are usually right.That only seems to annoy them. Although, he may never openly admit that you’re always right, he will come to recognize it quietly all on his own. LOL!

    I love this story!

    At my house it would have been referred to as another racket.

  3. Too funny. I am not always right, but I have a 94.7% right rate. :-)

  4. very funny – next time, let hubby get the coffee refill while you buy the bike lock… and whatever else in Canadian Tire that might interest you (be a much more interesting 20 mins for you) :-)… like your sense of humour

  5. And people laugh at me and pretend they don’t know what I’m talking about when I tell them this is one of the reasons I hate driving around here. From now on I carry this post around with me wherever I go.

  6. Oh my God, I’m laughing. With you my friend, with you. Have a wonderful vacation!!

  7. I had a good laugh at that. Thank you for sharing.

    I always enjoy reading your posts and so I’ve left you a blog award on my site:

  8. That happened to me once except I was accidently on the way to Montreal! Thank God I found a turnoff before then!

  9. Off-topic, just leaving a comment on your blog because of the Snarky Optimist’s Blog Rally Challenge (phew, that sounded like a tongue twister).
    Glad you left a comment on my blog and I replied back on it. :)

  10. And people wonder why I still don’t have a license. This kind of thing terrifies me. I’d be in Red Deer before I figured out what to do. Way to be resourceful, stay calm and circle back. I would have given up and started a new life in Alberta.

    This is the year of Gord getting a license, though, so watch out.

  11. This is hilarious! Of course you are right! I tell my husband every day that I’m right but he is a slow learner. Maybe I’ll just have him read this. : )

  12. Jacqueline says:

    hahahaha – I can just see the stress level on the highway now….that is tooo funny! Pretty aggressive move to do the unauthorized u-turn (for you I mean). For me its just another day – just kidding.

    Having fun reading your updates. Off to Vancouver tomorrow. Will have access to my email.

  13. Excellent slice-of-life post. I can totally see my wife and I playing the same roles (feel free to substitute Crappy Tire with Ronas, Princess Auto, etc.). =)

  14. I just stumbled across your blog and wanted to tell you that it is great! I love this story – it’s just like something I would do!

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