In it, I questioned all the pink ribbons being slapped on everything from cell phones to chocolate bars; and wondered out loud about corporate profit-teering from an illness that is hurting so many of us. I didn’t have any easy answers, and instead decided that rather than promote one of the many pink campaigns landing in my email box from PR firms to share some tips for early prevention.

With the Susan G. Komen Foundation in hot water, the issue of pink-washing is top of mind with many bloggers. For me, with a good friend preparing for chemo, cancer has been on my mind daily. So when I came across Annie’s most excellent post at PhD in Parenting titled “Cancer Sucks, Pink is Profitable, and Cures are Magically Blameless,” I had to share it with you.

She starts her post by admitting “that I haven’t always questioned pink washing as carefully as I should in the past.” This, I’m sure, we can all admit to. It feels good to buy pink … to feel like we’re contributing to a worthy and important cause.

However, she concludes, with the help of a documentary titled Pink Ribbons Inc., that pink is only profitable if it focuses on finding a cure–not prevention. Her words:

The bulk of breast cancer research money in past years has gone into researching a cure. In the movie, they note that only 3 to 5 percent of funds go towards prevention of breast cancer.  In Canada, around 6.5 percent of money raised goes towards research into risk factors and risk reduction. Why is the number so low?

• Is it because the prospect of a cure generates hope and therefore attracts more research dollars?
• Is it because the focus on the cure doesn’t upset any corporate sponsors that may be contributing to the cause?
• Is it because preventing cancer may dry up the enormous cash cow that pink ribbon campaigns have become?

And yet, more than anything, we need to find out why cancer rates are high and what we can do as a society in terms of prevention.

This image is not from a real campaign but illustrates an all-too-familiar corporate dichotomy. Image source.

Let’s demand accountability in exchange for our donation dollars.

To read more on this issue, please check out Annie’s post in full here, as well as by visiting Breast Cancer Action.

Edited to add: No, I’m not being a spoil-sport when I don’t play along with your “what colour” bra are you wearing meme on Facebook. It’s a f*cking terrible idea, people! (And you know I rarely swear on this blog, so I’m pretty serious here.) Please read this post at Toddler Planet to understand why. 

And another thing I’d like to add as well: As one reader as been so good as to share, the Komen story has evolved since I wrote this post. There’s a lot I didn’t know about this organization. You can learn more by reading this post by Jessica Gottlieb. I warn you though, it might make you feel like vomiting.

I never made it to the cleaning products aisle. I got caught in the organics, healthy, and pseudo-healthy products aisle. It’s pretty fantastic in there. You just never know what you’re going to find. As evidence, check out this breakfast cereal:

I just knew I had to have it. I reached up and grabbed it from the shelf, but swallowed heavily when I saw the price. For this small 8oz bag, more than $11.00! Before putting it back on the shelf, since it was clearly too expensive to buy simply as a gag, I reviewed the ingredients. Turns out you only need two tablespoons of this Canadian-made cereal each morning and the ingredients are heavenly healthy.

Well, that sure made justification easy! In my grocery cart it went.

I’ve tried it twice now. The first time sprinkled on yogurt, which was pretty good. And the second time was on its own with milk, which tasted like a gravel mixed with ashes from an old fire pit.

You win some, you lose some. And in this edition of impractical purchasing, I lost.

p.s. In a “Holy Crap!” moment this morning, I received an email informing me that the Coffee with Julie blog has placed 2nd in the Family & Parenting category of the 2011 Canadian Weblog Awards. The 1st place award went to Home to Heather, and the 3rd place went to Under the High Chair — both of which I plan to drop into my Google Reader this morning. These awards have a special place in my heart because they’re juried by bloggers and blog enthusiasts for quality, not popularity. It must be a hella lot of work organizing and judging these awards (all volunteers) so I feel very honoured and grateful.

Liam Neeson in the film The Grey. Photo credit.

It’s old fashioned and sexist to believe that men should all be strong and brave, just as it would be to believe that all women should be nurturing and gentle. But the news has been filled with stories of weak, dishonourable men as of late. And it is making me long for a time (fictional or not) for when “men were men.”

First there is the Penn State football scandal in which assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky repeatedly abused young boys. On several occasions, according to this report posted today, Sandusky was caught in the middle of abusing a child:

• In the fall of 2000, a janitor named James Calhoun witnesses Sandusky pinning a young boy up against a wall and abusing him. He does not pull Sandusky off the child and get the child to safety.
• In this same year, another employee, Ronald Petrosky, is cleaning the showers and comes across Sandusky abusing another young boy. Again, another man witnesses a man abusing a child and does not intervene and get the child to safety.
• In 2002, a graduate assistant to the team, Mike McQueary, comes across Sandusky sodomizing a young boy. Yet again, another a grown man does not intervene and get the child to safety.

I like to think that if I had been in the position of any of the three men above that I would run up screaming and yelling and try to push Sandusky away from the child. I also strongly believe that the men I know best would rather risk a black eye and upsetting an influential sports figure on campus, than live with knowing that they walked away from a child who desperately needed help. It’s one thing to hear of suspected abuse, but to witness it in the act not intervene? I simply can’t understand this.

Next, we have Captain Schettino of the Costa Concordia. His ship goes down, and rather than working to organize a rescue, he jumps overboard and saves himself. From a lifeboat, he watches the passengers frantically trying to escape while a Coast Guard captain urges him to go back on board to assist with the rescue. The entire conversation between Schettino and the Coast Guard is recorded and you can hear the captain’s weak excuses for not going back and the Guard finally demanding that he do — ” Get back aboard, damn it!” – to no avail. There are 11 passengers confirmed dead, and another 23 still unaccounted for.

And last but not least, the major news from yesterday was the guilty verdict in the Shafia case. Three members of the family, including the father, are charged with killing four members of the family – three sisters and the father’s second wife. Again, we have a man, Mohammad Shafia, putting his own needs first.

In the Penn State case, it would seem that the men did nothing so that they could avoid ruffling the feathers of a popular football team’s leadership, while in the Costa Concordia situation, Schettino feared for his own life and ran for shelter rather than to fulfill his duty as captain. Then, with Shafia, he is so focused on his own “honour” and reputation, he murders his own flesh and blood. Rather than re-examine his own values and do the hard work of bridging a compromise with his daughters, he decided to just make the “problem” go away.

I know there are plenty of honourable men – and women — in our society today. They quietly do hard, brave work every day. But the spate of recent media stories has really had me feeling sick to my stomach.

I had gathered a few special things:

In the background is a print that Hubby gave me after Stella was born, titled Mother and Child. The boxed book box collection is Griffin and Sabine trilogy. The wooden box is a “treasure box” that my parents gave me as a child when they returned from a trip to Egypt. And the carved wooden owl was a gift from my mother-in-law.

I tried a variety of combinations and none of them were entirely pleasing to me. There just seemed to be something missing. See what I mean?

Hubby came to my rescue though. He said he knew exactly what my vignette needed.

So he added his wallet and a lighter.

Magical, isn’t it? :p

It was my party, and I just wanted to wear sweatpants and have a few laughs with my girlfriends. But, believe it or not, in the photo above we were actually creating a special masterpiece just for me, the birthday girl! After it was all said and done, I had our creation stretched onto canvas by 4 Cats ($75 fee). I am so happy I did. It is such a fantastic piece, so filled with memories for me now.

So without further adieu, here is the final reveal of our group creation. It’s on the bookshelf in my office — my favourite place in our new home. (Forgive the photo quality. The photos from the party were taken by my friend Andrea, who is a talented photog, whereas the one below was taken by me on my phone.)

We all had such a fabulous time at the splatter paint party. I really recommend it! I’ve since been back to the 4 Cats Arts Studio to drive Stella to a children’s workshop. The place really is awesome, and I particularly like the owner Emaly. If you decide to head on over to Hintonburg to check it out, please say “hi!” for me!

I don’t even really care for downhill skiing though. It’s just an experience that I’d like my children to have. But when you visit a ski resort for a weekend, it is a HOLIDAY! And I love holidays. So I am so excited that we’re going to visit Smuggler’s Notch, or “Smuggs,” as it’s often called.

I’ve heard about Smuggler’s for ages and the thing that really caught my attention was the stellar reputation of their kids’ programs. The resort has invited my family to visit for a three-night stay this winter season. To help us learn more about the resort and plan our stay, we were sent a package, which arrived this weekend.

Wow, this is no ski hill and a few restaurants. This is like a winter Disneyland — there is so much to do!

We watched the DVD that came in the package on Sunday evening. Stella, who’s nine, is particularly excited about the zipline and the arts & crafts programs. Max, who’s three, is interested in the skiing with other children. And Hubby, who is snow-crazy, is excited that not only can he ski and snowboard, but he can also go ice-climbing.

As for me, I’m looking forward to having a proper ski lesson (normally I just point my skiis straight ahead and hold my breath down the green hills!) and taking part in a guided snow-shoe trek. But I’m also hoping that if the kids’ programs are as great as they are reputed to be, that I can grab a bit of “me time” while we’re there as well. Is that so wrong?

While in New York, I only bought a handful of things. But what I bought seems to indicate that I am not a particularly practical girl (see Part 1 for evidence.) This is Part 2. 

Hubby called out, “I think she’s here!” I skidded over to the front window of the house and sure enough, there was a blonde woman sitting in a car idling out front. I popped my Birks on and went outside. I could see she was reading on her e-reader and I knocked on the window and waved. She explained that the drive to my place had taken less time than she’d anticipated. I insisted she come inside and have a coffee or something. This was Kerry, and we were going to drive to Brooklyn from Ottawa that day. Woot! Woot! I was so excited.

I ran about the house frantically stuffing things into my bag and then started kissing the family goodbye. The door to the front hall got opened and closed before Kerry could say, “Don’t forget a jacket.” I’ve been needing a new mid-season jacket for AGES. The one I have is fine enough. But it doesn’t cover the butt and isn’t warm at all. So I just shrugged happily and said, “I’ll buy one there!”

Only now that I’ve spent some time with Kerry do I realize how crazy she must have found me that morning. She is a very organized person. It would not surprise me to find out that she’d had her bag packed and ready to go weeks before hand. Now that I am no longer a virtual stranger, I have no doubt that if she was in that position again, she’d say with a straight face: “Take your jacket. Don’t be a dumb ass.” But she was standing in my front entrance with a bunch of strangers, so she simply bit her tongue and we went on our merry way.

Needless to say, it was not long after we’d arrived in Brooklyn that she lent me an extra jacket that she had with her. She didn’t seem in any rush to get her jacket back from me, so we didn’t rush out to go clothes shopping. Instead, we spent our time walking the streets, visiting museums, and browsing book stores.

But on the way from one place to another, we happened to walk by a shop window that had a fabulous jacket hanging in the front window. We decided to go inside and check out the price. It was $330. I didn’t even want to try it on at that price. But Kerry insisted. It was a great fit and a great colour. Kerry also inspected it for its practical features like waterproofing and whatnot and was suitably impressed. She then began some kind of complex mathematical calculation that involved estimating how many times I would wear it, and for how many years, and what that equated to in a per/wear cost. My eyes were starting to glaze over and I decided that I needed a coffee in order to decide if I would buy it or not.

We had the coffee. I didn’t go back and buy the jacket.

I felt quite pleased with myself about it, actually. I am so disciplined! I am so frugal! Hubby will be so impressed!

Fast forward a few days and I was now staying with my mom in New York City. I really wanted to show her around SoHo, with its funky shops and cafes. It was her first time in NY, so I thought it was a “must do.” While there, we popped into a favourite shoe store of mine: Camper. I’d never actually bought any shoes there yet, but on practically every visit to New York, I’ve gone to visit Camper. The shoes are uniquely styled and are reputed to be very comfortable too. So off Mom and went!

We oogled. We aahhhed. I grew particularly fond of these black booties:

They were black. Black is practical!

But they were priced at $205.00. It seemed a bit steep, especially considering I didn’t actually need any black booties (I already have two pairs).

Both Mom and I walked out empty handed. I was unsure I wanted to spend the money, and she was unsure that they would be comfortable. Both highly practical considerations, right? Right.

So we went and had a cafe lunch at a sweet, little Italian place. We were seated at the front windows, which were actually glass doors that could be folded out in nice weather. The weather was not only nice — it was wonderful! We sat and watched all the shoppers stroll by while we ate. When we were done, Mom thought we should go back to Camper again. Who was I to disagree? Besides, it was her birthday, so I needed to indulge her. Right? Right.

This time, we both tried on a few pairs. And both of us left with one pair each. You’re thinking I was impractical and bought those steeply priced black booties, aren’t you?

No, no siree! Instead, I bought a pair of steeply priced blue swede boots. Everyone needs a pair of bright blue boots, right? They’re practically a wardrobe staple, really.

Warm, waterproof jackets are so overrated.
P.S. Both Mom and I are finding our Camper shoes to be sooo comfy! (She bought these ones.) Very happy with our purchases all these months later.

P.P.S. I just found out via Twitter that Coffee with Julie is shortlisted in the Canadian Weblog Awards! So, so, so honoured to be in such great company!

When we celebrated our first anniversary, we went to a bed and breakfast in Kingston. Although it sounds peaceful and romantic, and that was certainly the intention, it really wasn’t. A couple staying above us came in really late and made a whole lot of racket laughing and stumbling around drunk, which was followed by some other, ahem, “noises” that kept us up half the night.

But after that first anniversary, it all starts to get fuzzy and mostly involves me forgetting what the actual date was in January (thank goodness Hubby had the date engraved on his ring or we’d never remember!). We did, however, manage to pull out all the stops for our 10th anniversary. Hubby asked whether I’d like a special piece of jewelry or a trip. I said “trip!” And off to Cuba the three of us went (Stella was 5). We had a fabulous time!

Now, it’s 15 years. That’s a biggie sort of anniversary, isn’t it? In the morning, Hubby gave me this beautiful card:

I looked up what the traditional gift is supposed to be for year #15 and this is what I found:

“Crystal is the primary material for the fifteenth anniversary with glass as the modern material and watches as the alternate modern choice. Beautiful crystal jewelry, crystal flowers, or a figurine would make a nice gift. The crystal anniversary is also a great opportunity to invest in a feature piece of decorative crystal or art glass for your home.”

So in case Hubby was feeling a bit lost, there is some definite clear guidance out there on what is considered the appropriate gift for celebrating a 15th wedding anniversary. Being a man of unique tastes, he instead opted to give me this. He explained that this gift, with its ability to increase the effectiveness of our interpersonal communications, could certainly get us through the next 15 years.

What can I say? The man is genius. GENUIS! I tell ya.

Happy anniversary baby! xoxo

I don’t know about you, but I just love poking around people’s bookshelves and knowing what people have cracked open and set their minds to. So I thought I’d return the favour, so to speak.

This month, I will update my widget to show the following books that are currently sitting bedside — some waiting patiently, some already started.

The Meaning of Children by Beverly Akerman

I wasn’t sure what to make of this book when I first heard the title and saw the cover. I thought perhaps it was a non-fiction piece when Annie from PhD in Parenting suggested a few of us head out to the author’s reading when Akerman, a Canadian writer, was in town. But it is actually a collection of 14 short stories — each unique in its own tale and perspective. Katherine Hewitt of the Globe and Mail sums it up nicely: “Each story is an independent experiment, with varying results. But the sum of its parts is positive.” I really enjoyed this book. If you like short story collections a la Alice Munro style, I think you will too.

Enchantment, by Guy Kawasaki

I picked up Enchantment to participate in the Business Book Club that Karen at The Media Mesh started up. I haven’t started the book yet, but I’m really interested to participate as soon as I can get it read. Mostly, I’ve been wanting to read it because I admire everything that Kawasaki has achieved — he founded Alltop.com, held a key role at Apple, and is the author of 10 books. Not too shabby, eh? The book has become a sort of touch point in marketing circles, and I’d like to understand all the buzz.

The Hundred Dresses, by Eleanor Estes

I was inspired by a recent post by Andrea on her blog A Peek Inside the Fishbowl to start up a Mother-Daughter Book Club. I reached out to a few girlfriends who had daughters the same age as Stella and shared the idea and they immediately jumped on board. For our first book, one of my friends suggested The Hundred Dresses because, although it was originally written in 1944, it touches on the timely topic of bullying.

One Day, by David Nicolls

I had started to read the book Sarah’s Key but was really finding the material too emotionally disturbing, so I reached out to my Twitter folks for a “light reading” suggestion. I can’t quite remember who suggested this One Day, but I picked it up and couldn’t put it back down. It seems I was not the only one who read it compulsively, as this NY Times review attests, and now it is being made into a movie with Anne Hathaway. It is an interesting take on the classic Ross-Rachel long suffering, unrequited love story.

The Wealthy Barber Returns, by David Chilton

If you’re of my vintage, you’ll recall the original Wealthy Barber book, which was released in 1989 and was a hit with its story-telling format for finance lessons. I recall this book, handed to me by my parents I think, as a welcoming way of learning about managing your own personal finances. I’m about 3/4 through this book of Chilton’s and I’m finding it just “okay.” I suppose if I was a young person who was just starting out and needed to learn the basics, I’d appreciate it far more. But as it is, I am not gleaning much in the way of new insight and his jokey humour is starting to wear on me. However, Chilton’s approachable style to finance remains a breath of fresh air, and I’m definitely getting some good reminder notes.

Okay, so let’s be real … I have way more books than this stacked up high, teetering away on my bedside table (it’s a bit of a “problem,” says Hubby), but I am going to take a rest here. So tell me, what’s on your shelf?