So I simply searched the internet for all cottages that met this criterion and then booked the one at the best rate, which happened to be in a small fishing town called Jonesport …

[to read more, please click here to read the full post on Life As A Human]

11:30 pm:  Shutting down computer after putting some finishing touches on a report.

1:00 am:  Youngest child wakes up. Mom makes sure everything is okay, puts in some cuddle time and offers some milk.

1:30 am: Youngest child now settled, Mom returns to her bed.

2:00 am: Youngest child awakes again. Mom repeats steps from earlier, with no success.

2:30 am: Mom goes back to her bed with the youngest and hopes for the best. Youngest takes some time to settle into bed, does a lot of flopping around on Mom’s head.

4:30 am: Eldest child comes to bedroom and wakes Mom up. Mom can’t even process why child is up … either a nightmare or mosquito, but ushers child back to their bed.

5:30 am: Mom is in bed with two children. No one is asleep.

                                                                                                                                          Do you dare wear short-shorts?

If you’re my age and can pull off short-shorts, all the power to you.

If you’re a young woman with long tanned legs you want to show off, all the power to you.

But please — let’s not dress our young girls in short-shorts.

{click here to see why I’m such a prude about short-shorts! It’s my new post on the Life As A Human e-zine}

This constant barrage of criticism can’t be good for my mental health, can it? Even though I can intellectually reject it, messages can still creep into my subconscious.

And if it’s not good for my mental health, then I certainly don’t want to expose my daughter (and son!) to it either. But wait … is it actually possible for her to avoid this kind of exposure? I can limit it but I cannot stop these commercials from reaching her at some point.

This is something that my husband and I have, regretably, had to accept. We’ve decided that it is more effective to teach our children how to think critically and challenge what it presented to them, than to  spend all of our efforts ensuring that they are not exposed to this kind of mass-manipulation.

So if the television is on in our house and the woman on the television is telling me how to lose weight before bathing suit season, I will talk back to her: “Oh, shut up! I am fine the way I am and diets are unhealthy. You just want my money!” Or alternatively, “What’s wrong with the wrinkles around my eyes? They’re natural. It’s just something that happens when you age. Stop trying to sell me your stupid creams! And how come you don’t try and sell these creams to men, huh?” 

I just thought you should know in case you drop by one day and find me talking to myself. Or yelling.

And also because I just found a gem of a woman named Sarah Haskins (thanks to Margot Magowan and About Face) and she does a tremendous job and breaking down the marketing techniques that specifically target women. Here is one of my favourites, titled “Target Women: Feeding your Family”:

Other great topics that she covers include: Disney Princesses, Cleaning Products, Yogurt, and Skin Care Science and even Vampires. I think her videos could be a great tool for parents who want to challenge media messages with their tweens and teenagers since she manages to combine a critical eye with wit and some well-chosen snark.

What do you think … did they give you a chuckle? did they make you think twice about how a commercial is manipulating you? And how does a woman manage to maintain any self-esteem these days when we’re faced with critical messaging all around us?

I’ve gotta go now. It’s bathing suit season around the corner and I need to go feed myself a liquid meal.   :P

The title of her poster reads: “Oil Spill: Sea Animal Nightmare”

And the captions read:

• The oil blocks the whale’s blowhole
• Air bubbles in sea otter’s fur damaged by oil
• Fish gills clogged with oil
• Oil makes bird cold and sick
• Oil makes plankton toxic
• Crab eats things bathed in oil
• Shellfish suck in toxic water

*sigh*

Here I am with Joanne Harris, author of one of my favourite books Five Quarters of the Orange but most famously known for her novel Chocolat, which was made into the Oscar-nominated film with Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche. I recently had the chance to hear her read from her latest offering blueeyedboy when she came to Ottawa as a guest for Writers Fest. She was part of a series of events that Writers Fest puts on called The Writing Life.

As for me, I don’t think I have what it takes to be a novelist, but I like to lurk around these kinds of events and imagine that it’s possible. And I’m sharing my thoughts on this today at Life As A Human.

Please click here to read them and let me know what you think makes a novelist, a novelist.

This photo was generously taken and shared with me by a local photographer at the event. His name is John W MacDonald and you can check out his work here.

When I first started blogging one year ago, I didn’t — and couldn’t — have known what to expect. But BOLO left me feeling very optimistic about it all.

It seems that blogging is one of those things that, like becoming a parent, you just have to do it order to really understand it. And although I have a much better understanding now than I did one year ago, I still have so much learning to do. (Again, just like parenting!)

It seems apt then that I am now reading a novel that is written as a series of blog entries. Other authors have done this in a more fun and light-hearted way, like Kathy Buckworth’s novel The BlackBerry Diaires, but this book, blueeyedboyby Joanne Harris is quite the contrary. Here is how the protagonist, blueeyedboy, describes the WebJournal that he participates in:

On WeJay I can vent as I please, confess without fear of censure; be myself — or indeed, someone else — in a world where no one is quite what they seem, and where every member of every tribe is free to do what they most desire.

Tribe? Yes, everyone here has a tribe; each with its divisions and subdivisions, binary veins and capillaries branching out into a near-infinity of permutations as they distance themselves from the mainstream.

Although dark, this description isn’t exactly in-accurate. We all know there are some seedy sides to the internet. Perhaps naively, I do like to believe that there are more positive than negative sides to engaging on the internet. I have to admit that I’ve stumbled once or twice though. I’ve tried to join in on some ”tribes” and found that my voice is simply not welcomed in that community or on that specific blog. But I think I’ve concluded that those particular tribes exist to preach to the converted, not to engage with others outside of their tribe. It’s been a learning experience.

And that’s okay, because I am learning.

I’m learning that writing for myself (not just for my clients) gives me a really enjoyable feeling of satisfaction. Almost a high. And that the more often that I write, the easier it is to write. I think what I’m finding out about the act of blogging and being part of a blogging community has been best described recently by Christine on Coffees and Commutes in her post “Blogging: Conversations in Happiness and More“:

And that’s what comes from this place, a renewed desire to discuss issues, to think and write about life, and the things that make me happy and unhappy. Perhaps a luxury, but one I craved. I needed an outlet where I could connect with like-minded women who think and worry about the same things. I can see the future, the places this might take me and it excites me. As long as I stay true to what this is, focus on the writing, the connections and less on the hype.

Christine does describes a “tribe” of sorts – like-minded women who think and worry about the same things. But unlike blueeyedboy, there is no artifice. No pseudonym, no desire to actually distance herself from society. That feels right to me. And I like feeling like I belong in her tribe.

I hope that I can offer a similar experience here on my blog. I want this to be a place where you can sit and have a coffee break during work or a child’s nap (or simply to join me in procrastinating from doing the laundry!). A place where you can feel free to join in the conversation and share your point of view.

So far, I think it’s working out that way. (Do you?) And that makes me happy. Happy bloggy-versary!

And happy bloggy-versary to everyone of you who has stopped by to have a coffee and maybe even leave a comment or two. I’m grateful for the company and  I look forward to another year of the same!

We’ve had some really horrific and tragic bike accidents in our city as of late.

People have always commuted to work by bike in Ottawa, Canada’s capital. In fact, I distinctly remember my father biking to work every day from our family’s westend home in the suburbs to downtown.

But, now more than ever, we need more cyclists. The environment needs it, our bodies need it, and our children need the role-modelling.

Unfortunately, our city has a lot of work to do before it can be considered cyclist-friendly. In fact, it’s down-right dangerous to even attempt to bike in certain areas of the city. And many cycling enthusiasts, quite rightly, note that motorists are a big part of the problem.

As for me, I haven’t ridden a bike since I was a kid. And even then, it was only around the block.

My seven-year-old daughter, though, just learned how to bike this season on her two-wheeler. And wow! Kids sure learn fast. She has really mastered the skill so quickly. So much so that she has been asking to bike to school now. Despite the hyper-parenting that is a bit pervasive these days, our neighbourhood does have quite a few kids who regularly commute to school on bikes.  Which I think is wonderful.

Stella is a bit young to be commuting on her though. So I have been contemplating a bike purchase. Mostly, I’m tempted by the retro bikes with their fun styling and cute baskets on the front. (It’s all about packaging, isn’t it?) They’re not exactly cheap though and I’d hate for the purchase price to end up being used as much as my gym membership (ahem, that is, not much).

Luck shone on us about a week ago with a bike sitting on the edge of the street with a “free” sign. Sure, it doesn’t have a cute banana seat or even any cute paint colours, but it works just fine.

So twice a week now, I’ve been biking in with Stella to school and then I bike back home and do the same at the end of the day. For me, it’s some fresh air. For her, she escapes the dreaded bus ride in the heat.

The kids we see biking along the way all look like proficient bikers. And although they are dutifully wearing their helmets, I fear for their safety.

Why? Well, it seems that they have no clue what the rules of the road are. I have yet to see one of these children use a hand signal and most cross over a road without even turning over their shoulder to check for cars.

If we want to encourage a future generation of happy cycling commuters, it’s going to take more than just a widening of roads and an awareness campaign directed at motorists. We need to make sure that, as cyclists, we’re doing our part to be good citizens of the road.

With this in mind then, I’d like to share some resources for bike safety. If you’re like me, biking was from when you had a pig-tails, so who couldn’t use a little refresher for sharing with their children?

First of all, cyclists need to follow the rules of the road.

I like Ken Kifer’s site because he provides information without fear-mongering about the dangers of cycling. He notes that most of the collisions involving bicycles occurred because the bike rider did not follow the traffic laws for vehicles. On this page, he provides advice for teaching children the rules according to their age. I thought it was quite helpful.  

This Young Cyclist’s Guide on the Ontario Transportationwebsite runs through all the safety rules and even provides quizzes for your child to complete.

And just as we expect a car to signal, bikers must also use signals. Here are the hand signals for RIGHT TURN, LEFT TURN, and STOP.

So, let’s not keep our kids locked up in our back yards. Let’s let them have some fun — but prepare them and keep them them safe! Happy biking to all!

Do you let your children bike to school alone? What about around the neighbourhood? Have you had to brake quickly to avoid a child cutting in front of you on their bike?

If you enjoyed this post, please consider giving me your vote! I’m a finalist in the Scholastic Parent and Child 2010 Blogger Awards!

But something else that is beautiful has taken place recently. When it comes to reading, Stella is now “Mommy’s little girl.” Just as the outdoors brings a sense of inspiration and peace to my husband, this has always been what reading has provided to me. So I am just thrilled that her life now includes the joy of reading.

I’ve kept two series of chapter books from my childhood: The Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis and the Anne of Green Gables series by Lucy Maud Montgomery. Both were boxed sets, which made them extra-special gifts at the time. I have no functional use for keeping them all these years; they sit as purely sentimental mementos in my book shelf.

In the meantime of course, I’ve had a daughter. A daughter who now knows how to read. But her tastes have led to tear through Pokemon, Gerinomo Stilton and Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. My cherished box sets from youth must seem old-fashioned, with their faded covers and black and white interiors, and so they continue to sit quietly in my shelf.

But the other day, she began to tell me about a book called Narnia that she saw at her school library. “There was a lion, a witch, and a bathrobe,” she told me straight-faced. But not even “the bathrobe” could distract me from my opportunity to regale her with the book’s merits. I explained that the last word in the title was “wardrobe” and that it was a cupboard where people kept their clothes when they didn’t have a closet in their bedroom.

And then I pounced: “You know, all sorts of magical things happen in that series of books. I just loved it when I was your age. I think I may even have those books still. Hmmmm….. let me look …”

************

This is the book that Stella found at her school library called Narnia. It was published to tie-in with the film that appeared in theatres in 2005. I have not read it myself, or even seen it with my own eyes, but apparently the visuals are very appealing to children and the language and plot have been modified for the same reason. (It’s received excellent reader reviews on the Chapters-Indigo Canada website and retails for $8.99.)

If you’re not familiar with series, it all starts off with Lucy and her siblings Peter, Susan and Edmund. They are sent to live in the house of an old Professor in the London country to keep them safe during the war. In this large house, Lucy finds that when she hides in a wardrobe, the back of it is actually an entrance to an enchanted land called Narnia. The first book in the series The Chronicles of Narnia is the most famous and it is titled The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. In it, Aslan, the noble lion, frees Narnia from the spell of the White Witch.

I just adore the forward that the author, C.S. Lewis, wrote for his much-loved book, which was first published in 1950. It is inscribed to Lucy Barfield, his Goddaughter.

My dear Lucy,
I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realized that girls grow quicker than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. You can then take it down from some upper shelf, dust it, and tell me what you think of it. I shall probably be too deaf to hear, and too old to understand a word you say, but it shall still be.
Your affectionate Godfather,
C.S. Lewis 

This is what my boxed set looks like, published by Collier Books in second edition in 1978.  Each book has a price of $1.95 in the top right-hand corner. The only pictures inside each book are small black and white illustrations at the start of each chapter.

And you can still buy a beautiful boxed set too! Chapters-Indigo Canada offers a Harpers Collins Canada set with full-color illustrations by Pauline Baynes with original cover art from the Puffin editions, which were published only in the UK in the 1950s ($54.77), while my readers in the U.S. might prefer to order from The Scholastic Store, which sells  similarly lovely set of the seven tales ($40 US). Of note is that no matter where you live, the Scholastic website for parents offers a great discussion guide for The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe that you can use to chat about the book with your child as well as a Parent’s Guide to the Fantasy Book Genre.

************

I pulled out my box set for Stella. This is the Chronicles of Narnia, I explained in a hushed tone probably more commonly used for emphasis on made-for-tv movies. These are the original books that the author wrote, and that Mommy loved, I continued.

Her interest was piqued. She took the first book and tentatively flipped through the pages. Then she wandered off.

Later, as I walked up the stairs, I could see her laying in bed, nose-deep into the novel. It was past her bedtime, the teeth hadn’t been brushed, and no bedtime rituals had been complete. I quietly tip-toed back down the stairs.

She’d found it! That sweet spot. For as any bookroom knows, the big “o” of reading is when you start into a book and within pages you literally cannot put it down. It is always on your mind … you’re just dying to continue onwards through the pages and find out what happens. You’ll deny yourself food, sleep – whatever it takes – to just keep reading. Until one experiences that sensation, one has not experienced the true joy of reading.

Later. Much later. I went upstairs to turn out her light and tuck her in. She’d fallen asleep with the book beside her. And I could see there was only a sliver of pages left to be read. I leaned over and whispered, “Just like Momma,” and gave her a kiss goodnight.

I was inspired to write this post because I just found out over the weekend that this blog has been chosen by the editors of Scholastic Parent and Child magazine as a finalist for their 2010 Parent Blogger Awards.

Needless to say, I’m thrilled! If you would like to vote for my blog, just click here. Voting starts today! (It’s painless, I promise!)

Um. Where was I? Ah yes, I was at a vernissage. Which is the opening of an art exhibit and it’s the fun part because the artist is there and you get to drink champagne and munch on yummy tidbits and stare at beautiful things on the walls. So, I’m standing there in a beautiful home, sipping bubbly and life is grand — except that I am itchy. Every single mosquito that has managed to make it indoors is giddily swarming around me. I’m not joking. People were actaully commenting on it. And it’s not that I actually mind the swarming part, it’s the itch of course.

This situation seemed to sum up how I’ve been feeling lately. Everything is so good — family, home, work. But, for some reason, I feel itchy. And when I look around, no one else around seems to be itching. Just me.

In trying to describe this in conversations to friends, I have wondered out loud if this is what a “mid-life crisis” feels like. But no one answers my question because they get so distracted by the term “mid-life” and feel this insane urge to convince me that I have not, in fact, hit the middle of my life. Which I think is really silly. Because, really? How old does the average person live? I think it is so delusional when people insist that “mid-life” is 50. I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan to live to 100.

In case this notion of “mid-life” disturbs you as well, I’ll use the term “itchy” instead.

I seem to have an itch I can’t scratch. And why can’t I scratch it? Because I just don’t know what it is! Where it’s coming from, or why.

Here are ways that I have been trying to locate the itch:

• I have been scouring the real esate market. Perhaps I need to live closer to “the action” — closer to the city centre.
• I’ve considered giving up the home office life and working for someone else (other than my clients!). Maybe I need back into the daily action of office life?
• I’ve bought myself an entirely new spring wardrobe thinking that I just needed “a little lift.” At least the salespeople’s commission cheques won’t be itchy!
• I’ve even bought myself a new MAC lipstick.

And still?

Itchy.

So, what IS this feeling … spring fever? Mid-life crisis? Or is it a real, concrete need for change?

Tell me, do you ever feel like this? What do you do to scratch an itch? Should I just leave good enough alone or jump headfirst into a life change?

It’s an errand that I had kept moving down on the list until this week. I had an hour’s space between after school and when we would have dinner that I thought I’d use this time to strike this task off the list once and for all. So, I piled both kids into the car.

Stella, my seven-year-old, was not pleased. To her, getting her haircut is about as thrilling as shopping. She’d much rather be playing with her friends (and who could blame her really?). But, also. She likes her long hair. I think she worries that when the hairdresser says they will just “take a little off,” that they’ll actually hack a foot off the end. And Max? Well, at 21-months, he had no clue where we were going. Which was good, since he doesn’t like the process of getting his hair cut either.

Are you starting to see why maybe this errand had gotten pushed to the bottom of the list so many times? Anyhow. It was happening whether they liked it or not. As I was getting my seat belt on, I asked Stella if she might like a change … a shoulder-length do, bangs, a bob? She surprised me with, “I’d like to donate my hair to cancer.”

I wasn’t surprised that she knew you could donate hair to help make wigs for those who’ve lost their hair during cancer treatments. We have two friends of the family who both did this over the years and I know Stella (rightly) looks up to these girls. But I never thought I hear her say she’d want to do the same. Anytime the topic had come up with our friends, she would just look at them quietly. The look in her eyes said, “Yes, that was good for you to do that. But, no way, no how, will I be cutting all my hair off! So everyone, please stop talking about it before someone suggests that I should do it.”

My hand on my seatbelt stopped mid-motion. ”Really? Are you sure?” I asked. Yes, she replied. (I only need to ask once with Stella, since unlike her parents she is very decisive.)

Long story short then — she did it! We are really proud of her.

Before

After

 If you or your child is interested, here’s how:

1. Go to the Canadian Cancer Society website for a list of Canadian organizations that accept hair donations:

2. Gather the hair at the nape of the neck or at a point where the hair will be cut and secure with an elastic band. Cut the hair straight across the ponytail, just above the elastic band, keeping the hair together in the elastic band.

I’m feeling very grateful.

Thanks Mom! I love you. xoxxox

***************

Good Mother, by Jann Arden

I’ve got money in my pocket,
I like the color of my hair.
I’ve got a friend who loves me,
Got a house, I’ve got a car.
I’ve got a good mother,
and her voice is what keeps me here.

Feet on ground,
Heart in hand,
Facing forward,
Be yourself.
I’ve never wanted anything.
No I’ve, no I’ve, I’ve never wanted anything,
so bad..(so bad).

Cardboard masks of all the people I’ve been
Thrown out, with all the rusted, tangled
dented God Damned miseries!!
You could say I’m hard to hold,
But if you knew me you’d know,
I’ve got a good father,
And his strength is what makes me cry.

Feet on ground,
Heart in hand,
Facing forward,
Be yourself.
I’ve never wanted anything,
No I’ve, no I’ve, I’ve never
wanted anything so bad..(so bad).

I’ve got money in my pockets,
I like the color of my hair.
I’ve got a friend who loves me,
Got a house, I’ve got a car.
I’ve got a good mother,
and her voice is what keeps me here.

Feet on ground,
Heart in hand,
Facing forward,
Be yourself.

Heart in hand,
Feet on ground,
Facing forward,
Be yourself.
just be yourself.
just be yourself.

Feet on ground,
Heart in hand,
Feet on ground,
Heart in hand….

It was an Oscar-winner from 1987, directed by Oliver Stone and starred Michael Douglas as an incredibly wealthy but unscrupulous trader and Charlie Sheen as a young, desperately-eager-to-make-it-big stockbroker. I wanted to remind myself of the movie and its plot because a sequel is on its way. To be released in September, the sequel also stars Michael Douglas as the same character, Gordon Gekko.

I found the movie itself to be just “okay,” with a predictable plot line. But that’s not to say I didn’t enjoy myself! Because let me tell you, I did. Wow, there are countless handsome young men in this movie. And they are all wearing suits. Handsome. Tailored. Suits.

It made me yearn for a time when men wore suits regularly. Now, I only see a man in a suit (including my own) at weddings or funerals. And it’s a real shame, because a suit on a man is a beautiful thing.

And then I got to thinking about this whole “business casual” thing. Who came up with business casual anyway? I’d like to know so that I can tell them what a major disservice they have done for me — and women everywhere.

I think men look good in two types of clothing: casual (Levi jeans and a t-shirt) or formal (a good suit). Notice that this doesn’t include “business casual.” No matter what size a man is, I think these two types of wear can be universally flattering.

But I have yet to see a man look good wearing “business casual.” Have you? All I seem to see are men that look like this:

Neither the “proper” or “improper” forms of business casual in this image do anything for me.

I really just think business casual was a bad idea. Even for women. I would personally prefer to wear a business suit every day. It would make things so much simpler for me, actually because you don’t have to worry about trying to match a suit together! Just go into a store, buy the suit — voila! — an outfit. Love it.  

In fact, the idea of working in a “suit only” environment is so appealing, I would consider it a major employment perk. More handy, certainly, than a gym facility I would never use anyways (despite intentions otherwise!). Besides, a gym wouldn’t even be necessary if people wore well-tailored suits that comfortably cover any lumps and bumps our middle-aged bodies may have.

Instead, one never knows what kind of atrocities they will face when walking into the office … will it be leggings? flip flops? skinny jeans? or just the sad, defeated look of men in pleated khaki pants.

What can I say, a group of university, baseball-wearing guys singing Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance really makes my day!

Check it out. On the Rocks is the University of Oregon’s all male a cappella ensemble.

The article I was reading had initially intrigued me because envy isn’t a common topic for Harvard Business Review, or business research in general for that matter. Also, I work in the area of organizational change management and I wondered if envy played a role in resistance to new ideas.

The authors, Tanya Menon and Leigh Thompson, present some very interesting ways in which envy does indeed affect a company’s performance and its employees receptiveness to change. But more helpfully, they also offer concrete steps to take in order to overcome envy’s damaging side effects, both as an individual but also as a team leader.

I think it’s no surprise to any of us that envy is not something one wants. It’s an unpleasant feeling and as Andrea states in her post: