Liam Neeson in the film The Grey. Photo credit.

It’s old fashioned and sexist to believe that men should all be strong and brave, just as it would be to believe that all women should be nurturing and gentle. But the news has been filled with stories of weak, dishonourable men as of late. And it is making me long for a time (fictional or not) for when “men were men.”

First there is the Penn State football scandal in which assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky repeatedly abused young boys. On several occasions, according to this report posted today, Sandusky was caught in the middle of abusing a child:

• In the fall of 2000, a janitor named James Calhoun witnesses Sandusky pinning a young boy up against a wall and abusing him. He does not pull Sandusky off the child and get the child to safety.
• In this same year, another employee, Ronald Petrosky, is cleaning the showers and comes across Sandusky abusing another young boy. Again, another man witnesses a man abusing a child and does not intervene and get the child to safety.
• In 2002, a graduate assistant to the team, Mike McQueary, comes across Sandusky sodomizing a young boy. Yet again, another a grown man does not intervene and get the child to safety.

I like to think that if I had been in the position of any of the three men above that I would run up screaming and yelling and try to push Sandusky away from the child. I also strongly believe that the men I know best would rather risk a black eye and upsetting an influential sports figure on campus, than live with knowing that they walked away from a child who desperately needed help. It’s one thing to hear of suspected abuse, but to witness it in the act not intervene? I simply can’t understand this.

Next, we have Captain Schettino of the Costa Concordia. His ship goes down, and rather than working to organize a rescue, he jumps overboard and saves himself. From a lifeboat, he watches the passengers frantically trying to escape while a Coast Guard captain urges him to go back on board to assist with the rescue. The entire conversation between Schettino and the Coast Guard is recorded and you can hear the captain’s weak excuses for not going back and the Guard finally demanding that he do — ” Get back aboard, damn it!” – to no avail. There are 11 passengers confirmed dead, and another 23 still unaccounted for.

And last but not least, the major news from yesterday was the guilty verdict in the Shafia case. Three members of the family, including the father, are charged with killing four members of the family – three sisters and the father’s second wife. Again, we have a man, Mohammad Shafia, putting his own needs first.

In the Penn State case, it would seem that the men did nothing so that they could avoid ruffling the feathers of a popular football team’s leadership, while in the Costa Concordia situation, Schettino feared for his own life and ran for shelter rather than to fulfill his duty as captain. Then, with Shafia, he is so focused on his own “honour” and reputation, he murders his own flesh and blood. Rather than re-examine his own values and do the hard work of bridging a compromise with his daughters, he decided to just make the “problem” go away.

I know there are plenty of honourable men – and women — in our society today. They quietly do hard, brave work every day. But the spate of recent media stories has really had me feeling sick to my stomach.

When we celebrated our first anniversary, we went to a bed and breakfast in Kingston. Although it sounds peaceful and romantic, and that was certainly the intention, it really wasn’t. A couple staying above us came in really late and made a whole lot of racket laughing and stumbling around drunk, which was followed by some other, ahem, “noises” that kept us up half the night.

But after that first anniversary, it all starts to get fuzzy and mostly involves me forgetting what the actual date was in January (thank goodness Hubby had the date engraved on his ring or we’d never remember!). We did, however, manage to pull out all the stops for our 10th anniversary. Hubby asked whether I’d like a special piece of jewelry or a trip. I said “trip!” And off to Cuba the three of us went (Stella was 5). We had a fabulous time!

Now, it’s 15 years. That’s a biggie sort of anniversary, isn’t it? In the morning, Hubby gave me this beautiful card:

I looked up what the traditional gift is supposed to be for year #15 and this is what I found:

“Crystal is the primary material for the fifteenth anniversary with glass as the modern material and watches as the alternate modern choice. Beautiful crystal jewelry, crystal flowers, or a figurine would make a nice gift. The crystal anniversary is also a great opportunity to invest in a feature piece of decorative crystal or art glass for your home.”

So in case Hubby was feeling a bit lost, there is some definite clear guidance out there on what is considered the appropriate gift for celebrating a 15th wedding anniversary. Being a man of unique tastes, he instead opted to give me this. He explained that this gift, with its ability to increase the effectiveness of our interpersonal communications, could certainly get us through the next 15 years.

What can I say? The man is genius. GENUIS! I tell ya.

Happy anniversary baby! xoxo

Some of the most cherished homemade gifts I’ve received include a quilt from my mother-in-law for each bed in the house, a quilt from my special Aussie girlfriend Nat, and a scrapbooked collage from my mom. As for gifts from Hubby, I can’t even list the number of homemade gifts he’s made for me over the years. He is crazy-talented and I’ve received everything from jewelry, decorative boxes, and artwork to a cedar-strip canoe and a bed!

This year for Christmas, I was fortunate enough to receive two homemade gifts. The first was a painting by my father. Hubby and I are beyond thrilled with this since it’s the first painting that he’s painted especially for us. And the second is this very groovy tote from my sister and brother-in-law. Check it out! (You know it’ll be on my arm at the next BlogHer or Blissdom, don’t you!)

On the front is the image that represents the age-old saying: “The pen is mightier than the sword.”

And on the back, you can see that the tote has been customized for the blog! Here is a close-up shot:

They also gave me a cookie-mix in a jar. I’m glad it looks pretty in the jar on my shelf since, well, I don’t bake or cook. But it’s the thought that counts, right?

July 2011: By this time, our family had moved into a new home while simultaneously welcoming overseas family to Canada for the first time. It was busy, but we had fun! We shared as much of our area with them as possible, including Canada Day in downtown Ottawa and a visit to Toronto. A sense of relief was also felt by Hubby and I as we settled into our new neighbourhood and adjusted to the change. In total, I published 6 posts in July.

August 2011: Making hay while the sun is shining, I spent some time in the Land O’ Lakes with girlfriends and our family took a camping trip to Algonquin Park. August is also Stella’s birthday month and we celebrated her 9th birthday with friends and family. Last year before she hits double digits! In total, I wrote 10 posts.

September 2011: We managed to decorate Stella’s bedroom in the new house — as per the promise we made her before moving. (The rest of the house remains fairly untouched to this day! *sigh*) I did some mild ranting about the Back-to-School push to buy-buy-buy as well as what I saw as the declining state of Canadian Business magazine. And last but least, I hatched a crazy idea for my 40th birthday called “Month of Me.” In total, I published 9 posts.

October 2011: This month was a wild ride! My 40th birthday was going to take place in October and I decided that the entire month should be a fun, guilt-free time where my priorities and desires would always come first. I didn’t have the time to write about everything that happened in October, but it included a ton of lunches with girlfriends, two blogging conferences, a trip to New York City, time with my Hubby, a massive Thanksgiving dinner outside with all of my family, and a messy celebration at 4 Cats Art Studio! Phew! In total, I wrote 11 posts.

November 2011: This was a busy month catching up on all the things I neglected in October! But I did manage to write a few snippets from the New York City trip and share my new-found love for home decor. In total, I wrote 10 posts in November.

December 2011: No surprise that of the 11 posts I wrote in December, 6 of them were related to Christmas. Surprisingly, the most popular of these was the first Christmas gift guide that I’d created for Coffee with Julie. (A lot of people do gift guides, so I wasn’t sure how it would be received.) But mostly I think I just succeeded in annoying a lot of faithful Ikea folks. Oops.

And now we’re here — 2012! — a whole year has passed. The easiest, but sometimes tear-inducing, way for me to see the passage of time is to look at my children. They have grown so much in the past year. My son Max went from a quiet toddler who was slow to speak to a great big boy who is now happily chatting away to us, while my daughter Stella never ceases to amaze (and amuse) us with the depth of her kindness and intelligence. Both occupy our days (and sometimes our nights) endlessly, and yet they are the source of a type of joy that makes life worth living.

Hubby and I know that the universe has been kind to us, and we are very grateful for the happiness and health of our family. We do not take this for granted, but rather we often look at each other before we go to sleep and say, “We are so lucky.” (Happiness doesn’t come easy to me, but I practice gratitude every day.) I sincerely hope that you can also share in this kind of “luck” in the year ahead, in whatever form that might take … an ignited career passion, adventures in forests, or a hobby that lights your heart.

From our family to yours — Happy New Year! — and may the days of 2012 treat you well. xox

January 2011: The new year started on a very high note when I found out that Coffee with Julie had placed 2nd and 3rd in two Canadian Weblog Awards. Then I started a thread of posts on over-consumption (I had so many other posts I wanted to write about on this topic, but never seemed to find the time to piece them together), that included a fabulous guest post by Pam Dillon. By mid-month, I had already faltered on some of my New Year’s resolutions. And finally, I gave up all pretenses of not being a social media geek and instead proudly announced this with a new piece of jewelry. In total, I wrote 12 posts that month.

February 2011: My grandmother turned 87 in this month, and I wrote about the passage of time. The nostalgic themes continued with a post on my first kiss, and a few other ramblings. In total, I wrote 7 posts in February.

March 2011: In this month, I had my first piece published in Parent & Child magazine and it was based on a birthday post from Coffee with Julie. I also shared a really spooky ghost story and jumped on the bandwagon to comment on “The Tiger Mom” concept embraced by Amy Chua. In total, I wrote 9 posts.

April 2011: This was a busy time for our family because we were getting the house that we’d lived in for 14 years ready for sale. I wrote a semi-pathetic sort of rambling letter to my blog explaining my lack of posts. And we were all quite shaken from witnessing our neighbour’s house go up in flames. In total, I wrote 8 posts.

May 2011: This was a fun month because I was given the opportunity to attend Blog World & New Media Expo in New York City for my work. I didn’t write much about it but did manage to share the trip via tweets. But my absolute favourite post from this month was “A conversation about Twitter and DH.” I wrote a total of 5 published posts and 1 still in draft titled “Misery thy name is OUTDOOR bootcamp.” (Related: I quit Bootcamp in May.)

June 2011: With the end of the school year came the bi-annual conundrum of what kind of teacher gift is appropriate (if any). I also wrote about QR codes and LinkedIn, but in the background we had sold our home — the first home and the only one our children had known — and I had anxiety about change on the mind. Oh, and Stella got a buckle fracture on her arm from rough-housing around outside. In total, I wrote 9 posts and 2 additional posts are still sitting there in draft format (poor neglected things!).

With each year, time passes more quickly. And that’s why this blog is so special to me … it is a chronicle of my life and looking back through the first 6 months of 2011 has brought back all sorts of great memories. Tomorrow, I’ll look at the final 6 months of 2011. Thanks for joining me on this trip down memory lane! Happy New Year to us All! xox

It’s unfortunate for you that I only have the camera in my BlackBerry and zero photography skills. But trust me, this vignette is so super sweet. What you can’t really see from the angle on this photograph is that the wooden frame is actually made specifically for hosting vignettes. I love it! Apparently my neighbour found it in Merrickville a number of years ago. It is fantastic, isn’t it? (Yes, I did tell her that she needs to get an electrician in to move the light switch. It is totally interfering with the vignette’s glory!)

Here is a close-up shot, where you can see one of each of the vintage postcards, candles, wooden soldiers, and pinecones.

I was particularly taken with these postcards. They are beautiful little pieces of art. My neighbour’s father used to collect these postcards, and she inherited them when he passed away nine years ago. Each postcard has its own little plastic pocket to protect it and they are dated with postmarks from as far back as 1929, with handwritten messages sending Christmas wishes.

You can see here that this postcard was sent from Algonquin, Ontario:

Don’t you just love looking at handwriting? I find it so expressive and personal.

Seriously. This ornament is just so perfect (with big props to Coffee with Julie reader Giulia for sharing this with me today!). I am a total Grinch about Christmas in October. And November. Only come December do I feel that Christmas is actually allowed. Thank you very much.

But I am not a total Ba-humbug. I just don’t like all the ruckus to start too early. To prove it, I will share what I put up on my door this past weekend.

It’s made from fresh greenery and smells fantastic. I actually bought it ages ago from a neighbourhood kid who was selling them for hockey fundraising. It was $20, which seems like a decent deal actually and it was delivered right to our door this past week. To hang it, I followed the instructions that Michael Penney shared on his blog by using a simple piece of red ribbon that I found at Michaels.

Let the Christmas craziness begin!

Sadly, I think this might have been a case of living in suspended disbelief. My first hint should have been the fact that Hubby does not let me do the grocery shopping. His chief complaint is that I come home with nicely designed cleaning products, expensive granola, and black licorice but not enough ingredients to make a meal with. He is so picky.

Anyhow, I digress. I went to New York City and I have yet to tell you about the shopping. The Shopping! In New York City!

One of the first places where I made a purchase was in a store called Bird. Kerry had these groovy pocket-sized cards for different neighbourhoods all around New York and on this day, her card told us to check out Bird. So we did. We’re obedient that way.

Bird is one of Brooklyn’s first fashion destinations and also the very first LEED-certified retail store in New York City. It was recently voted Best Women’s Boutique in New York City by New York Magazine and Top Visionary Boutique in the United States by Lucky Magazine.

As soon as I stepped in, I couldn’t believe my eyes! Just that morning I had whined to Kerry about how I had always wanted a pair of glasses but the frames were always too expensive to justify for clear lenses. (You see, I don’t actually need glasses, I just covet them. I never needed braces as a kid either, and I wanted those too.) And yet here were a whole slew of frames to choose from — all priced at $99! Okay, I hear you … a hundred bucks is still a lot of money to spend on an accessory, but for glasses, these were a good price.

I was ridiculously excited and started jumping up and down. Kerry did her quiet shaking-of-the-head-thing-while- being-secretly-amused-but-not-enough-to-warrant-being-associated-with-me and immediately wandered to the other end of the store.

I was in heaven. Here’s me in the store, sporting the glasses that I chose:

Trying to do my best sexy librarian look.

After the thrill of this find, I immediately set off to see what other wares the store had. I picked up a great looking pair of boots. $720? Ouch, no thanks. So I went smaller and looked at the scarves. I found a beauty, which looked to be of standard material but with a bit if flair. I took a gander at the price tag: $185. I think I may have laughed out loud. Kerry insisted she’d seen the same scarf on her trip to Vietnam for $1.50. Maybe less. The store didn’t hold much appeal for us so we didn’t stay long. But I was still just as pleased as punch with finding the glasses.

Then, just this week, long after the NYC trip was over, I learned that Kerry is actually going in to have laser surgery on her eyes so she won’t have to wear glasses ever again. For her, they’ve been a necessity since age 5. For me, a frivolous joy at age 40.

Don't tell anyone that I don't actually need glasses, k?

That, my friends, is not how multi-tasking works. As any mother knows, multi-tasking is not about getting things done quickly or more effectively by doing more than one thing at once. In fact, we’d love — more than anything! — to be able to devote all of our focus on one thing at a time.

Multi-tasking is not a choice. It is something that one must do, if one expects to actually get anything done at all.

As Exhibit A: My work day is now done and this is how my evening is going to play out …

• Supervise a short homework period with one child (nagging as needed)
• Drive over with above noted child to my Gram’s residence and pick her up for dinner
• Drive over to Swiss Chalet, because both Gram and child will eat there
• Drive over to Chapter’s where I have a meeting scheduled with out daycare provider at 7pm
• Deposit Gram and child into Chapter’s. Let them browse for an hour.
• Discuss other child for one hour with daycare provider to share tips and sync-up
• Re-group with Gram and child and drive Gram back to her residence
• On the way home, stop at drugstore to pick up some face cream and toothpaste
• Arrive home, usher child into bedtime routine (nagging as needed)