Archive for the ‘Mental Health’ Category

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What Should Schools Do About Bullying? A Q&A with Lissa Albert


In the first part of my discussion with researcher and cyberbullying expert Lissa Albert, we discussed what a parent should do if they suspect their child is being bullied. Today, we’ll look at what schools can do.

Q1.  What do you believe is the most effective approach for tackling bullying in schools?

As an educator, I believe that we must always begin with as much as we can learn about any topic before we make a plan to tackle the problems. This is very important where bullying and cyberbullying are concerned; many people are unaware of just how these behaviors are defined and manifest, and my thesis topic centered around the need for awareness in the educational field before any action is taken.

Q2. In your experience is the “zero tolerance” policy in schools proving effective at lowering the incidences of bullying? 

Zero tolerance, in my opinion, is not the answer. When we enforce zero tolerance, we are automatically branding the bully and sending a message that there is no room for improvement. Absolute zero tolerance does not take into account the entire picture, only the behavior. If we do not work on the situation, we are simply trying to eliminate players who are a symptom, not the problem.

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What Can We Do About Bullying? A Q&A with Lissa Albert


My last post on bullying sent the traffic to Coffee with Julie soaring. Clearly, I’d hit a nerve. I think that’s because the adults in our communities genuinely want to do something about bullying, but are just not sure what that is.

One reader, Chantal, suggested that having access to a social worker or other experienced worker in the realm of bullying would be very helpful. So I reached out to my online community and received a number of suggestions for whom I might be able to contact. One of the experts that was recommended to me (thank you, June!) was Lissa Albert.

Lissa holds a B.A. in Early Childhood Education, and recently graduated with a Masters in Educational Technology. In searching for a meaningful topic to research for her thesis, she decided on cyberbullying which, in 2009, was not as prevalent as it is today. She explained to me that as soon as she began her research, it became “her new mission in life.”

To date, Lissa has contributed to the latest book by Dr. Justin Patchin and Dr. Sameer Hinduja, entitled: “School Climate 2.0″(2012), and has become a contributor on their blog at the Cyberbullying Research Center. She is a regularly invited speaker and interviewee and offers her services as a consultant, speaker, educator for parents, students and all staff in schools, as well as organizations which may need to train their personnel (community centers, community organizations etc).

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Bullying is Bad. Wear a Pink Shirt.


Back in October, I wrote a guest post on the PhD in Parenting blog titled “Bullying is Bad. Don’t be a Bully.” It started like this:

It’s not politically correct, but I’ll say it: I’m tired of hearing about bullying.

I feel like we spend a great deal of time as a society these days talking about bullying and the importance of teaching children that bullying hurts. I think children already know that bullying hurts. That’s why children — and adults — do it.

Can we move beyond this rhetoric, this vacuous “bullies are bad, don’t be a bully,” to a more sincere discussion? 

In sum, I was trying to express that although the current campaigns against bullying are well-intended, I doubted their effectiveness in actually getting to the root of the bullying incidents taking place in hallways, school buses, and facebook pages across North America.

I asked (begged? pleaded?) that we try and dig deeper on this. In response, I received so many insightful and heart-felt comments.

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How to Talk to Your Child about Murder (Guest Post)


Dear readers,

I am sharing this post because there has been a tragedy in my home town of Ottawa. The community has been hit hard and like most parents, I’ve been struggling with how to talk to my children about these three deaths.

Krista Gray-Donald, a friend of mine who works with victims of violent crime, offered to put together some tips and resources for me. In speaking with her, she also offered to share this information here on Coffee with Julie as well as on her own personal blog Life in the Hutch in case there are others looking for some guidance or additional resources.

If this topic is not relevant to you, then I encourage you to move on to something far more joyful (may I suggest Fluevog shoes, perhaps?). For anyone else, you can read more after the jump.

Thinking of you and yours,

Julie xo

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Christmas Cheer: What if you have none?


At this time of year, when every form of media imaginable — from commercials, movies, and television to magazines and newspapers — are promoting the “warm glow” of holiday happiness and family togetherness, it might seem like you’re alone if you are not feeling the Christmas spirit. Well, you’re not. I just thought maybe you might want to hear that.

So don’t beat yourself up if you’re just “not feelin’ it.” There’s a ton a reasons why you might not be in the holiday mood (and who says you need a reason anyhow?). Below I will attempt to counteract the superficial “perfectness” being thrust upon you for commercial gain. And promise me, if you’re really struggling, reach out and ask for help (here is a suicide hotline for USA, hotline numbers for Canada, and one for hotline numbers worldwide).

Perfect Family

Holiday movies with family togetherness are on every second television channel at this time of year. If your family isn’t the picture perfectness of “It’s a Wonderful Life,” then you’re normal. It’s like women’s fashions. They show you all the clothes on super-thin teenage girls to sell you the “fantasy” — everyone knows the average woman is a size 12-14, not a size 0-2. Sure, lots of families gather at this time of year. But if your family doesn’t … then, it just doesn’t. Do something else — when you really think about it, it’s just a day, like any other day.

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