coffee with Julie

May 15th, 2012

Sending Strength and Inspiration via the Seattle’s Children’s Hospital

My friend Cassie was diagnosed with a form of bone cancer in February. Since then, she and her family have been living through what most would describe as hell. But you wouldn’t know it from speaking with them — they are dealing with a brutal treatment regime one day at a time, and finding moments of joy where ever they can. Just recently, she shared how her and her mother are supporting each other:

Our motto together has become “If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry, so let’s laugh instead.”

This approach to life — to choose the shared joy of laughter — is also articulated beautifully in this piece, titled Joan of Arc, by Kelle Hampton. Kelle has a young daughter with Down Syndrome and her writing expresses anger with those who want to dismiss the good, and instead push her face in the bad.

It’s not that she doesn’t acknowledge the bad:

Here’s the thing–this person is completely right in the fact that it’s going to get worse–more hardship, far more difficult challenges [...].

You think I don’t know what’s ahead? You think I don’t have moments where I put myself there–ten years from now, thirty years from now, fifty years from now? You know what statistics say? I know damn well it’s a hard, hard road and there will be tears. But I trudge forward. Like Joan of freaking Arc, and I embrace the challenges and choose to be happy. Knock me down, Waves. I’ll get back up.

It’s just that she is working really, really damn hard to focus on all the reasons she has to be happy. In fact, I’m sure that “working hard” and even “really damn hard” are embarrassingly inadequate means of describing how people face the very difficult challenges that life throws around. And I know there must be days when it is utterly overwhelming.

So this video is for all of you that are trying hard to choose joy, but might just be having a bad day and need an extra injection of inspiration. From Cassie, to all you.

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May 12th, 2012

Beaches Boscobel, Jamaica: A Tween’s Perspective (Day 4)

Stella, who is almost 10 years old, and I have just returned from Beaches Boscobel in Jamaica, where we were invited to experience the resort. If you’re a parent and you travel to the Carribean during winter, then you’ve likely heard of Beaches Resorts. This chain of resorts is known for providing an above-and-beyond experience to families and their young children. But what about the “tween”? When your child is not a “little kid” nor are they a teenager, will this resort be a good fit? Here, Stella, will share her journal from the trip. I have not edited (or even corrected the spelling even though it makes me twitch!) so that you can read an unfiltered tween’s perspective.

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The Last Day in Paradise

By Stella, 9 years old

Well, today was our last day but we did the most fun thing. Today’s highlight is …. Mystic Mountain!!!!!

First we got on a tour bus and drove for a bit. We saw LOTS of “jerk centeres”. In case you are wondering a jerk centere isn’t a place for jerks. Jerk is a spicy meat. So at a jerk centere they sell meat.

Once we arrived at Mystic Mountain we took a while to get organised.

At the entrance to Mystic Mountain

Then we got on a ski lift that pulled us over the rain forest. It took 15 minutes.

Looking down, while on the Mystic Mountain lift to the top

Looking back at our friends behind us, while on chairlift at Mystic Mountain

Then we got to a little plaza and got in line for the bob sled ride. Once it was my turn on the bob sled I hopped in and got my seat belt on.

Here is my Mom getting ready for the bob sled ride

Suddenly the ride started and I shot off around a sharp corner. I was going very fast and breathing hard as the bob sled zig-zagged in full throttle. Finally ended after a sudden stop. I’m surprised I’d say this but I wanted to go again!

And here she is while on the ride!

We stoped at a gift shop and I bought two post cards and a shirt that said “Jamaicia, No Problem”. After that the kids and I had a quick swim. The water was kind of cold and the pool area was shalow so I stuck to the water slide. It was okay but a bit slow.

Next we went down to were you zip-line. We got all our harnesses on and went on a hike to the first zip-line. The instrucktor taught us how to zip-line and we were off!

Whoosh! Here I am zip-lining through the jungle!

We went on a bunch of zip-lines. But then we got to the Repel!

Dun Dun Dun!!!

I’ll tell you what repel is. The repel is basicly falling out of a tree holding on to a rope.

The repel: An illustration from my journal

So after the repel we went on one last zip-line after crossing an awesome wobbly rope bridge.

The awesome rope bridge

The last zip-line was the longest one. Ethan and I had to go with a grown-up because we were too light.

So we got on the ski lift again and headed back to the front office. I bouht a parrot carving and then hopped on the bus back to the resort.

Me and my friends back at the Beaches Boscobel Resort

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And with that, we have the conclusion of Stella’s travel journals from Jamaica!

We stayed in the Beaches Boscobel resort from Tuesday, April 24 and checked out on Saturday, April 28th, 2012 and using the online site, a similar stay in 2013 would cost you $2,094.00 (April 23-27, 2013). That’s $523.50/night and includes accommodation, meals, drinks, kids club, and a full spectrum of resort activities. (Airfare or additional off-site activities such as Mystic Mountain are not included in this cost.) Travelling off-season like this really makes a luxurious all-inclusive resort far more affordable and Beaches also runs a Single Parent Fun package (May 1-24 and Sept 4-Oct 31) during which the single supplement fare is waived.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Beaches resort experience (you can read my thoughts here) and would definitely return. However, in my case, I think I would select a different resort than the Boscobel one because although the pools were A-MAZ-ING, I didn’t find the beach particularly inspiring. I know many people don’t even swim in the ocean, so it wouldn’t be an issue for them, but next time I come to Jamaica, I’d like to try the Beaches Negril or the Beaches Sandy Bay because they are located on the famed Seven Mile Beach. (I also dream about hitting a Sandals resort – the all-inclusive just for adults!)

I travelled with some very talented writers on this press trip and you can read about their experiences as well:

Whale and weather watching in Jamaica, by Lori Knowles in the Toronto Sun

The Mother/Child Vacation, by Jen Maier in Urban Moms

A Review of Beaches Boscobel, Jamaica, by Rhonda Carrier in Take the Family

End of The Jamaica Journal, but the Travels aren't over!

If you’ve been to a Beaches resort and would like to add your thoughts, please do! Also, if anyone has any specific questions about the resort, I’d be more than happy to answer them. Jot down a note in the comments below and I will respond!

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May 9th, 2012

Help! I’ve Got a Kid

If I’d actually had enough spark left in me at the time, that’s precisely what I would have cried out to the world almost ten years ago. But I didn’t. Because it was too hard just to get out of bed, let alone care for my new born baby. I’d been smacked hard with a postpartum depression stick and was completely and utterly overwhelmed.

I knew other mothers didn’t feel like I did. And that made things feel worse. I distinctly recall observing another mother in the doctor’s waiting room and I knew that she — and her baby — were thoroughly enjoying these early days. More than anything, I just wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.

Since that wasn’t possible, I crawled my way through those early days, relying on both family and medical support. I began to arrange my days like I had done as a magazine editor before I’d gone on maternity leave — with a schedule of activities. I needed to keep myself busy, but not too busy. So I would plan for one activity a day. Never more, never less. Some days it was as simple as baby Stella and I going out and getting the groceries together, while other days I attended reading time at the local library, a playgroup in the basement of the church, or a cup of tea with my Mom.

Most of my friends hadn’t started families yet, so I turned to the internet to find parent-and-baby activities and began to read blogs (which were not as common at the time, but I did find Heather Armstrong’s dooce and a number of online forums). That’s why the online site Help! We’ve Got Kids really speaks to me.

Help! We’ve Got Kids was the brain child of two Toronto-area mothers, and just recently, it has expanded into Ottawa. One of these same mothers, Tracie Wagman, asked if I’d be interesting in working with her to help promote the site’s expansion into Ottawa. So that’s what this post is about and why you’ll see a Help! We’ve Got Kids button up in my right-hand menu under sponsors.

Help! We’ve Got Kids compiles and shares the kinds of things I used to look for as a new parent, but conveniently, all in one spot. It includes:

listings of local kids activities;
coupons for kid-friendly activities and programs;
blog posts by Tracie and her business partner Deborah Beatty; and
articles by local experts, such as this one on concussions authored by two pediatric neurologists from CHEO.

So whether you’re a natural at this parenting gig or constantly feeling like a fake, I think a site like Help! We’ve Got Kids is a site you’ll want to bookmark.

I wish Tracie and Deborah great success as they enter into the Ottawa market and I’ll be helping out in whatever way I can along the way!

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Help! We’ve Got Kids. A sponsored post means that I was paid for my time to write it.

Please note: If you are a new parent reading this article and wonder if perhaps you might have depression, there is help available — you don’t need to get through this alone. Just click here for some steps on how to get started. If you are feeling suicidal, it’s important to call 911 right now so that you can get proper medical attention.

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May 6th, 2012

Beaches Boscobel, Jamaica: A Tween’s Perspective (Day 3)

Stella, who is almost 10 years old, and I have just returned from Beaches Boscobel in Jamaica, where we were invited to experience the resort. This resort is all about providing a full family experience, so I am sharing Stella’s journal — spelling mistakes and all — with you so that you can get an older child’s perspective, not just an adult’s.

Writing in her journal on our balcony at Beaches Boscobel

On Day 3, we had a really special experience because we left the resort and had a visit to a local school. The school is one of a number that has been ‘adopted’ by the Sandals Foundation, which is the philanthropic arm of Sandals Resorts International. Sandals Resorts International was founded by a Jamaican man by the name of Gordon ‘Butch’ Stewart, and the Stewart family continues to run and oversee both the resorts and the Foundation. It’s an impressive non-profit since 100% of proceeds donated to the Foundation go directly to projects in the community.

By Day 3, however, Stella’s initial enthusiasm for journalling was already waning. This just goes to show you that writing is work (contrary to popular opinion). I explained that she could use a technique like “Top 10″ to spark her ideas along and she decided to go for it. While her descriptions below are quite sparse, I can tell you that she was green with envy that the Jamaican school had so many great painted murals — she just loves murals!

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10 Ways My School is Different from a Local Jamacin School

By Stella, 9 years old

Stella's Journal for Day 3

1. My school is big. The Jamacin school was small.

Boscobel Elementary School

2. My school has metal desks. The Jamacin school had wooden two-person desks.

3. My school has 1 mural. The Jamacin school is covered in murals.

4. The kids don’t wear uniforms at my school. The kids wear uniforms at the Jamacin school.

Jamaican children in school uniforms.

5. At my school there is a mixture of black and white people. I didn’t see any white people at the Jamacin school.

6. At my school there is more than one chalkboard. At the Jamacin school there is only one chalkboard in the classroom.

7. At my school each class has more than one teacher. In the Jamacin school each class has 1 teacher.

Stella reads a story to a group of Grade 2 students.

8. My school goes up to grade six. The Jamacin school goes to grade 5.

9. My school has a gym. The Jamacin school doesn’t.

10. My school has glass windows. The Jamacin school has slits in the walls instead of windows.

The Grade 1 class at Boscobel Elementary School.

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April 30th, 2012

Beaches Boscobel, Jamaica: A Tween’s Perspective (Day 2)

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Let the fun begin

By Stella, 9 years old

I had a busy day* today, so I will tell you about the highlight. Day 2′s highlight is ……. Golf Lesson From a Pro!!!!!!!

First we got on a tour bus and drove down to the golf course. On the way we saw little houses, fruit shacks, schools and a “Wallmart” wich was really a guy selling stuff handing on a wall!

After driving on a really bumpy road for half an hour or so we pulled into the driveway of a golf course. Then we met one of the staff of the golf course who told the kids to load into a golf cart and the manager of the golf course led the grown-ups on a tour of the golf course.

Sandals Golf & Country Club

Ethan, Josh and I crammed into the back and Emmett sat in the front with the driver. We drove for about 5 minutes until we reached a driving range were we got off. There we met a golf pro. He tauht us the golf grip. In the golf grip your hands are close together and your thumbs make a line.

He demonstated how to drive the golf ball. We practiced driveing the golf balls for about an hour or two. It was really fun! After that the grown-ups came back from their tour.

Then we hitched a ride on golf carts and after a quick bathroom brake we boarded the bus again and headed back to the resort.

Julie’s additional notes:

* The busy day also included: a breakfast with the characters from Sesame Street, a full tour of the resort, play time in the water park, a swim in the ocean, and last but not least, a delicious dinner. (Yes, we slept very well!)